FAQ

You are known as somewhat of an expert in the field of same sex attraction, what are your views on the issue?

A portion of my caseload for over 30 years has been individuals (primarily male) who identify as gay or ‘same-sex attracted’, well over 3000 single and married men. Most come to gain a deeper sense of confidence in who they are as well as to deal with relationship issues—family, friends and/or partners. I’ve learned that all men do not arrive at a homosexual orientation the same way. They are as diversified as their straight counterparts. Developmentally homosexuality is a multifaceted issue. Family dynamics, personality, social and emotional growth, early sexual experiences (including abuse or molestation), potential genetic and /or hormonal influences, moral teaching, the social climate as well as personal choice all stand to influence a person’s sexual preference. Other than becoming straight (Never have I seen anyone change their sexuality/arousal template), a great deal of growth can be achieved with improved self concept/esteem, relationship healthiness, and dealing with compulsive/addictive behaviors that may have developed or working through a history of trauma/abuse.

The therapeutic goal is not to make a gay man or woman straight (although there are still those out there who are proponents of such misdirected efforts) The goal is to help all make responsible, healthy decisions within their own framework of morality, family and societal constructs. It is an extremely complicated issue and individuals with this orientation can be easily dismissed by others on the basis of very ‘black and white”/ dualistic thinking. When a person chooses to walk for a season with someone who is gay much of the previous ignorance is usually dispelled. This issue often pulls others from their comfort zones many times challenging their own ethics. I have counseled many parents, spouses and other family members and watched their understanding and empathy grow over the months and years–although not necessarily shifting what they believe morally.

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Are you the same Michael Malloy that directed the Christian Counseling Services for 20 years?

Yes, one in the same. I was Director of Social Services for two years and Executive Director for eighteen.