The Great NorthWET: The Chronicles of Lewis, Clark & Malloy
Cape Disappointment, Oregon Coast
B.C. or before COVID in 2020, Jeannie and I had planned to fly to Portland and travel the Columbia River Valley on our own. COVID nixed those plans.
Also, we’ve often been asked why we’d never taken a cruise. Our reply was “cruises are for older people”. But when we saw the American Cruise Lines Columbia River Cruise ad, we decided to give it a try. Unbeknownst to us, this cruise was the first cruise of the season on the Columbia/Snake rivers.
We knew that booking early April we stood to have some rain. We’d taken ponchos and umbrellas so we went on the excursions prepared. The first cruise day we headed west to the coast, Astoria, Oregon and Cape Disappointment which got its name from a ship’s captain who could not find the mouth of the Columbia River. Cape Disappointment was not disappointing even though cloudy. At Astoria I climbing the 164 steps to the top of the column. The clouds lifted enough for quite a view.
The Astoria Column
The view from the top of the column, 164 steps up a circular staircase
We’d heard of Multnomah Falls and although rainy that day—you were going to get wet at the foot of the falls anyway from the spray.
Multnomah Falls
We did not have sunshine until the last two days for which I was thankful since I’d booked a helicopter ride through Hells Canyon outside of Lewiston, Idaho. A day before I was asked if I was ok waiting until 4 pm instead of 11 am, no problem. Except that—an hour before I was to leave we got a call totally cancelling the excursion with no explanation. Had we known, we’d have gone on another excursion that day up the river into the canyon—instead we sat on the ship all day. BIG disappointment.
We also had chosen the Pendleton excursion. We are big Pendleton blanket people so was looking forward to touring the mill. The town of Pendleton has a big rodeo we heard lots about. Then, they took us on the Pendleton ‘Underground’ tour—linked basements under downtown buildings. The manikins staged at the underground bars and brothels were not ‘Disney' versions but looked like they’d been placed there shortly after the basements were built ages ago, rather corpse-like. We did go to Pendleton Mills but only the gift shop, no tour. Disappointment number two. We did take a side trip to Tamastslikt Cultural Institute. It was very well done, about the traditions and lives of three tribes, the Cayuse, Umatilla and the Walla Walla. Other than my new Pendleton sweater (my consolation prize from the gift shop), the institute was the highlight of the excursion.
Like we’d heard about cruising, the food was great and lots of it. There was a 5:30 pm cocktail hour before dinner. The truth was, every hour was a complimentary cocktail hour and a few definitely got their monies worth though not drunk. They served nice hors D’oeuvres during that hour and far be it from us to up pass those pre-dinner appetizers! The ship’s staff was friendly and efficient. Two waitresses, Cymone and Jalexa were exceptional so we headed for one of their tables at mealtimes. Jalexa’s daddy had a car dealership and was a car lover so her name was a combination of Jaguar and Lexus.
We were right about the age of cruisers—at least on this ship. If not the youngest couple on the ship, we were close.
With our FAVORITE waitess…Cymone, from Los Angeles
We ended the cruise in Clarkston, Oregon just across the river from Lewiston, Idaho (get it? Lewis and Clark?) The airport in Lewiston was very small. No food available other than junk from vending machines. Delta and United have one flight a day flying in from Denver and returning. We arrived just after 8:30 am but neither Airline began checking in flights until 11. Then the local TSA showed up and ran us though security and left.
The tarmac at Lewiston—super busy, NOT!
Delta’s flight came, loaded up and went. Then it was our turn to board at 1 pm. Everyone on and luggage loaded, the plane was too heavy and United asked for a volunteer couple to get off the plane. First offering $750 United air dollars and transferring them to Spokane and booking flights from there. No takers. Clock was ticking for many of us making our connections. United went up to $1000 air dollars each and one couple volunteered. They exited, United pulled their luggage and we were finally set to go.
When the cabin door was shut and the pilot tried to start the left engine, it would not start. We had to deplane while some local mechanic came to say, “ya bro, it’s broke”. The nearest United mechanic was in Boise, 5-6 hours away. They unloaded all the luggage. People were getting hungry so United opened there snack coffers—more junk food. Because TSA staff checked us through and left, we could not leave the airport and get back in. United ordered Dominos around 5 pm so everyone got one piece of pizza. United decided to fly an empty rescue plane from Denver. We left Lewiston at 9:45 pm. I was being barraged by text messages from United. One was a link for booking another flight to Nashville from Denver. The ONLY flight available was flying Denver to Dulles / Washington DC, then to Nashville. It was Friday and everyone wants to party in Nashville for the weekend. There was also a link for arranging a hotel in Denver which worked and I booked us at the AtWell Hotel, was new and nice. Many of the older folks did not have the app so had to go the United customer service when we arrived in Denver in hopes of a hotel. Arriving in Denver at midnight we made the last shuttle to the hotel getting to bed at 1:30 am. United then short checked our luggage from Lewiston since it was originally headed to Nashville. It worked! So we had our luggage overnight at the hotel. The alarm went of at 5 am in order to catch the shuttle back to the airport. United gave each of us three food vouchers $15 each so we could get a decent breakfast after junk food for 24 hours.
New friends from Charleston, Rick and Leigh, with our runner up best waitress, Jalexa.
Flights were on time so we made it home via Washington DC at 7:30 pm. I felt like kissing the tarmac in Nashville when we arrived—with luggage!
The highlights of the trip? One was to Astoria on the Oregon coast. At the Astoria Column the low clouds had lifted long enough to get a good view.
Multnomah Falls was definitely worth seeing.
Going through multiple locks on the Columbia and Snake rivers was fascinating to watch. I felt like a seven year old watching how they work raising the American Harmony—our ship—as much as one hundred feet. It took me a couple of days wondering why lamps, art work and such was all music related on the ship. Duh.
I’ve received many compliments on my Pendelton cardigan sweater. I’ve not worn a cardigan in decades.
My Pendleton sweater…cotton, not wool.
Another highlight was the couples we met. We did make acquaintance with many couples on the ship but spent lots of time with four—one couple from Charleston, another from Illinois, a third from Grand Junction, Colorado and the fourth from San Diego. With three meals a day we often sat together at Cymone or Jalexa’s tables. We lingered at the dinner table well into the evening.
Even though the trip home was horrendous, United did a good job accomodating us after the ‘equipment malfunction’. We’ve now checked the cruise box. We’d suggest going to the Columbia River Valley late spring or summer. The Columbia River Gorge was beautiful, what we could see of it through the rain. We received an invite while on the ship from the Western Region Operations Manager, Kobi du Preez, of ACL to evaluate our trip. I responsed to his personal email when we returned two weeks ago and have yet to get a response. Not too impressed.
New friends from San Diego, Gaspar and Beverly
If you do choose to travel the Columbia with ACL on the American Harmony, look up Cymone in the dining room. She was a delight.
Addendum: We have booked the Viking cruise that it seems everyone goes on—The Grand European Tour—in an attempt to give the cruise industry another shot at it.